im stuck. save me!

best friend or boy friend???

if i have to choose between my best friend (who is a guy) and my boy friend i wouldn't know what to answer. I know my best friend longer and he knows me best. but the other is my boy friend! To make matters worse, i use to have feelings for my best friend and now everyone thinks that my boyfriend is my rebound guy and that i will leave him after a short while. but that's not true. i hope its not. but right now im having this phase where im sort of annoyed and irritated with my boy friend and don't really feel like talking to him. my best friend on the other hand is soooooo funny and puts a smile on my face. does this make me a bad person? every time i feel upset, the first person i go to is my best friend. he knows how to cheer me up. my boyfriend is a great guy. i seriously can't find anyone better than him. he is so understanding and caring. and he is so cool about me being close to another guy. Maybe he is jealous but he never shows it to me despite me asking so many times. i have such good people in my life but right now i'm confused. this 'phase' im going through is diverting me back to my best friend. hopefully this phase doesn't last long. if it does it's gonna cause a lot of problems for all 3 of us. gosh, i am fickle-minded! a good friend of mine asked me this question

k : if both of them were drowning in the sea, who would u save first?

me: i don't know. both are important.

k: nope, u have to chose one. best friend right?

me: i don't know. don't ask me such questions. both important.

am i giving too much of importance to my best friend? but he means the world to me. boy friends come and go but best friends always stay. but i have the best boy friend in the world!!! best friend or boy friend? or may be i still have feelings for my best friend? nonono. that can't happen.. then? is this just a 'phase' or is it permanent? i'm yet to find answers to all these questions. is it wrong to love your boy friend and your best friend?

debate!!

It's been so stressful lately. With debate just around the corner, and prefects performance and exams... God, i wish i could split myself to 3 parts or more. I've been very emo recently due to all these things (and of course certain people are trying to make my life more miserable as if things aren't bad enough right now). SPM is just a few months away and I haven't been studying. I'm still doing last minute studying the day before the exams. To make things worse, I've been skipping classes for debate. Wira Debate means the world to me. KL champs two years in a row and the pressure is on us to win again. I really do hope we win. Teachers want us to give 200% commitment for debate. sometimes i wish i could just dumped aside all this stuff and study in class like other people. Debate is my passion though. Every time i rebut or POI, it gives me this adrenaline rush and i love that feeling. In one way, i can't wait for debate but at the same time i' m scared. if we make it till the finals( as joanne and petra said, it's not if, it's when we make it to the finals) we will be going to Kedah and by the time debate is over it would be August. So, i have about 3 and a half months before spm..... and that's seriously very little time considering how little i have studied for now. After mid year exams, full swing into debating, during holidays also debate. Having friendly debate against BBBS and KV5. Winning against them will be a great confidence boost. Competition is one week after holidays and unlike the years before this year the debates are only a day apart. Worse still, state semis and finals are on the SAME DAY!! gosh! talk about pressure.. *fainting*... but before talking about semis we got to beat SJI first, the scariest opponents for us.. win zon keramat and most likely we can win KL.( that's how things have been in the recent years).. gotta win.. must win.. and we will win.. after all CBN is hot-to-go.. so, my fellow rockstars.. lets rock the house down and kick some debaters ass!!

p/s : So what, *snaps finger* we're still rockstars!!!

A tamil movie like no other

I recently watched this tamil movie which truly made me proud to be Indian. It's not that the tamil movies before this are terrible or something, it just wasn't my taste. I mean, all the loud screaming, ridiculous and illogical fighting scenes, the 'punch dialogues', stereotyped storyline was really getting too much for me.
Just when I was beginning to lose all hope, Vaaranam Aayiram(thousand elephants) was released and what a breathe of fresh air it was. The director of the movie dedicated this movie for his late father. It is a story about a son who recalls and cherishes all the moments he had with his father who passes away due to throat cancer. The storyline might seem quite similar to many English movies but the way the movie was taken and the actor's capability was superb. You see, Indian movies are always put in such a way that you have a hero and of course a villain and the hero's beloved who only comes in to dance for songs.
In this movie however, so many issues were raised. The story starts with Major Surya( played by my favourite actor, Surya) who is informed that his father has passed away. Surya begins to recall the past in a series of flashback. From his joyful teenage years, his first love, death of his girlfriend, doing drugs and joining the army and how his dad and mom helped him cope throughout the situation. The movie also showed the negative effects of smoking and drunks which many tamil movies lack to potray nowadays.
It was something like a really good English movie but of course this one had the indian masala with songs and all. Surya was a real powerhouse in this movie and also not to forget all the other cast members. My sis and I both cried watching this movie. And apparent Shugi too cried and so many people I know(guys too but I won't be mentioning names)
Vaaranam Aayiram is a movie in whole new different league. Hopefully we will be able to see more of such movies. So, if you haven't seen this movie, please go watch it eventhough you're not Indian. i'll even get you the CD. It's an awesome movie

lonely phase

I haven't spent much time online during the holidays. Its not that I don't have internet access or something but I'm just not in the mood for it. I have hardly spoken to many of my school friends and some of them might be angry with me for that. I'm sorry people but I'm just going through a phase where I prefer to be alone and have no contact with many people. I have no idea why this is happening to me because I'm a people person, I love to talk and be around people. So, I'm just as puzzled as anyone else. You can even call it an 'emo' phase i guess. Don't worry though, I'm getting through that phase and this post is the proof! Not only that, I will be adding a few other post ASAP!

Day one

I've decided to start my own blog thanks to jo ann( the monkey). So, today is day one and I'm so frustrated. My neighbour is having major renovation and all the noise is driving me up the wall. the drilling and knocking is so loud and unbearable. It is so loud i can't even watch tv. I'm gonna get a migraine very soon. Sometimes i think the contractors do it on purpose just to annoy us. Call me paranoid but its like they only knock and drill early in the morning when I'm sleeping. Thanks to this smart souls, i cannot sleep after 9 a.m. Hello people, a girl needs her beauty sleep!OMG! they started their drilling again *rolls eyes*. I feel like running away from all this noise. okay, I've just got to be patience and wait for tonight to watch football. Manchester united vs arsenal. MU gonna win*yahoo*. I think I better stop here because all the noise is distracting my concentration. god save me!