im stuck. save me!

best friend or boy friend???

if i have to choose between my best friend (who is a guy) and my boy friend i wouldn't know what to answer. I know my best friend longer and he knows me best. but the other is my boy friend! To make matters worse, i use to have feelings for my best friend and now everyone thinks that my boyfriend is my rebound guy and that i will leave him after a short while. but that's not true. i hope its not. but right now im having this phase where im sort of annoyed and irritated with my boy friend and don't really feel like talking to him. my best friend on the other hand is soooooo funny and puts a smile on my face. does this make me a bad person? every time i feel upset, the first person i go to is my best friend. he knows how to cheer me up. my boyfriend is a great guy. i seriously can't find anyone better than him. he is so understanding and caring. and he is so cool about me being close to another guy. Maybe he is jealous but he never shows it to me despite me asking so many times. i have such good people in my life but right now i'm confused. this 'phase' im going through is diverting me back to my best friend. hopefully this phase doesn't last long. if it does it's gonna cause a lot of problems for all 3 of us. gosh, i am fickle-minded! a good friend of mine asked me this question

k : if both of them were drowning in the sea, who would u save first?

me: i don't know. both are important.

k: nope, u have to chose one. best friend right?

me: i don't know. don't ask me such questions. both important.

am i giving too much of importance to my best friend? but he means the world to me. boy friends come and go but best friends always stay. but i have the best boy friend in the world!!! best friend or boy friend? or may be i still have feelings for my best friend? nonono. that can't happen.. then? is this just a 'phase' or is it permanent? i'm yet to find answers to all these questions. is it wrong to love your boy friend and your best friend?

debate!!

It's been so stressful lately. With debate just around the corner, and prefects performance and exams... God, i wish i could split myself to 3 parts or more. I've been very emo recently due to all these things (and of course certain people are trying to make my life more miserable as if things aren't bad enough right now). SPM is just a few months away and I haven't been studying. I'm still doing last minute studying the day before the exams. To make things worse, I've been skipping classes for debate. Wira Debate means the world to me. KL champs two years in a row and the pressure is on us to win again. I really do hope we win. Teachers want us to give 200% commitment for debate. sometimes i wish i could just dumped aside all this stuff and study in class like other people. Debate is my passion though. Every time i rebut or POI, it gives me this adrenaline rush and i love that feeling. In one way, i can't wait for debate but at the same time i' m scared. if we make it till the finals( as joanne and petra said, it's not if, it's when we make it to the finals) we will be going to Kedah and by the time debate is over it would be August. So, i have about 3 and a half months before spm..... and that's seriously very little time considering how little i have studied for now. After mid year exams, full swing into debating, during holidays also debate. Having friendly debate against BBBS and KV5. Winning against them will be a great confidence boost. Competition is one week after holidays and unlike the years before this year the debates are only a day apart. Worse still, state semis and finals are on the SAME DAY!! gosh! talk about pressure.. *fainting*... but before talking about semis we got to beat SJI first, the scariest opponents for us.. win zon keramat and most likely we can win KL.( that's how things have been in the recent years).. gotta win.. must win.. and we will win.. after all CBN is hot-to-go.. so, my fellow rockstars.. lets rock the house down and kick some debaters ass!!

p/s : So what, *snaps finger* we're still rockstars!!!